The Great Tea Battle of The Great White North
Michelle Bachmann Is The Real Deal
It is no secret that I detest Tim Pawlenty. This is the only man who could convincingly play Keanu Reeves in a biopic based around the movie stars life in the early 90′s. That, and he raised taxes in Minnesota as Governor, wussed out during the Republican debate in New Hampshire, and is an all around boring loser. Honestly, I’d check his birth certificate to see if he was born in Canada.
Michele Bachmann, on the other hand, is the best and only hope for the Tea Party, the Republican Party, and the United States in general. If Sarah Palin is momma grizzly, than Michelle Bachmann is queen Polar Bear. She’s a 5 and a half foot conservative juggernaut; shes attacks tax raising bills with more ferociousness than a Great White shark in a seal rookery.
Because of this dichotomy, it amuses me that there are even stories permeating the media about a fight between these two. This isn’t even a contest. So maybe they come from the same state, Minnesota, but who cares? Bachmann has Iowa in the bag. Pawlenty can shuffle around the mid-west all he pleases, but the only chance he has is to try and take the north-east from Romney. Unless he can afford $10,000 worth of hair gel, that dreams about as realistic as him taking California.
The man needs to drop it.
In fact, I’d like to declare Bachmann the candidate now so the rest of these RINO’s will stop wasting my time. She has ALWAYS been anti-tax, she has ALWAYS reflected conservative values, and she will NEVER kowtow to liberal posturing.
Southern California Decides to Cut the Hippies Off
If not now, the earthquake will take care of it.
Riverside County Supervisor Jeff Stone released a map (above) detailing which counties would be included in a division of California into two states. For those who are not familiar with California, these counties include most of the farmland that drives the economy.
It’s about time. I’m tired of bankrolling the patchouli reeking slacktivists, coffee house art majors, and smug Hollywood wannabes. The state’s in major trouble and Jeff Stone is the only man who has the stones to present an honest, permanent solution to this debacle.
The conservatives have had enough; we’re taking the farmland, and sanity, along with us. You can keep your smoke-filled deadbeat dens and kumbaya campfires.
I don’t hate the other parts of the state. Hate is a strong word. I just have no respect for them. They disgust me. My vote hasn’t counted in decades and my taxes have gone to fund their half-baked social engineering ideas that gutted the state’s surplus.
These idiots wouldn’t even vote Reagan back in office now.
It’s time we let them float on their own; drown if necessary. The only thing they’ll hear as they scream and splash in the raging tsunami of debt will be my condescending chortle and the distant words, “I told you so”.
Wiley Biden Tricks NEA to Commit A Year Early
Me fail English? That's unpossible!
If there was anything I was truly worried about in this upcoming election season, it’s whether or not the worlds largest teachers union would throw its gazillion dollar war chest behind the incumbent democratic president.
Luckily for all of us, Joe “cup o’ ” Biden went to the National Education Association earlier this week and wowed them with a boring and completely disjointed stirring speech. Imagine the intrigue and suspense that could have gripped the nation had not our intrepid VP persuaded this tax sucking jackpot into choosing sides early.
The White House seems to be feeling a bit insecure, considering they’re getting smacked around on every other front, so I imagine these victories are all they have right now
Biden’s next stops will include:
- Liberals who vote for Democrats Union
- San Francisco Town Hall
- Europe
- Food Stamp Collection Lines
- Summer Hippie Jam Fests Across the Nation
It’s going to be a tough job for the VP, but someone has to remind these cattle who fills their trough.
